We often say that kids play sports, not to go professional, but to learn life lessons they’ll use throughout life. That should go for adults as well.
Youth baseball is back. A friend / fellow coach and I were talking today about arguing with umpires (and we also went through a long list of some of the best umpire taunts we’ve heard over the years…). Now, in general, arguing with umpires typically isn’t a good idea. Sometimes they need to know if you saw something differently, if there’s an issue, etc. But so much of it is in the presentation.
There’s a big difference between “Ump, that call was terrible” and “Ump, you’re terrible.” It’s one thing to say you disagree with a call. It’s another to make a personal attack. Very similar words – much different implication. When you’re on the field, you need to keep it to the game, not the person. Making the ump feel personally threatened or attacked is either going to escalate the bad calls, or get you tossed.
The same thing applies in life.
Between political tensions, the fight for racial equality, people dealing with the ramifications of COVID-19, a bad economy, and a host of other issues, things are tough right now. There’s a lot of disagreement. It’s good to have debate with others. It’s healthy. Surrounding yourself with people that have a variety of opinions and worldviews helps us all to think more critically. Unfortunately, so much of it turns personal.
“If you vote for Trump, you’re an idiot” is much different than “I have a really hard time understanding why someone would vote for Trump.” One attacks the person, the other is a disagreement with a viewpoint (and on that note, make sure you can separate someone criticizing you from someone criticizing your idea. It’s okay if someone disagrees with you, or even thinks your idea is bad. That’s not a reflection of you, and you’re not under attack).
Be very, very careful with the words you choose. Have civil discourse. Don’t make it personal. As soon as you do, any productive dialogue goes out the window, and we need productive dialogue now more than ever.
